Unremarkable Tuesdays

Today…

Today was as unremarkable as any Tuesday could be. War on the television. JJ Spaun had won the US Open two days prior. Casual capitalism in my news feed.

But today has been the greatest morning.

I woke up around 6 a.m. having decided the night before to try to get some better sleep. I have been sleeping like shit lately (or so my fitbit says). Funny… it didn’t feel like shit until something started telling me it was. The double-slit experiment but for insomnia.

Anyway, I got up and went for a run. And something remarkable occurred; it started raining. As I rounded the turn on my street. And it didn’t stop, it rained the rest of my run. Granted it was a short run, about a mile and a half, but there was something majestic about it that gave me a moment with God that I hadn’t reveled in quite a while.

Full stop; it’s none of my business what your relationship with God looks like. But as of late I have… drifted. I have drifted away from a lot of things I cared about recently. But I am still trying. That is determination, right? That is discipline, right? To keep getting up?

When do you stop falling down, though? When does discipline override the necessity to get back up? 

A boxer isn’t defined by how many times he pulls himself up off the mat, it’s how many opponents he puts there. 

I struggle with sticking to a pattern. Self-control only gets you so far. Sobriety taught me that much. To win the bout you must bob and weave, and in this metaphor that means knowing when to excuse yourself entirely from the things that condemn you.

So it was raining. It didn’t stop, and I kept going. So what? At its bare bones it seems devastatingly unremarkable. Hell, it can be condensed into a sentence, of what possible import could it be if it can be so small?

The universe was small too, once.

Today can be unremarkable and still be a turning point. After the run I showered and now I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop, with my favorite drink, having read another chapter of a new book (Atomic Habits), and am here…

Part of me is writing this just to note the moment. I don't want to forget this feeling. I want to remark and the unremarkable, I want to leave my handprint in the cement of time. Today was a day. And I was here for it. I was present, dammit.

Just think of what could never have been had I decided to stay in bed again.

I hope your Tuesdays stay unremarkable. Because if you’re noticing it, then that means you’re on to something.

RH